11/13/10 at 10:50 AM
Radio playing...
Why is it that all the songs I hear are about love? Are they telling me something? Or nagkataon lang? Don't know what to think. I told myself that I should start posting entries of happy thoughts, but I guess I'll just pretend with hat act, because it's not really what I feel.The music says...
...Sometimes love isn't just enough.
Last night, I was watching Imortal (with my parents) when the thought of falling in love with someone crossed my mind.
What if I met someone special?
What if I commit myself to him?
What if I can't hold on to what I promised myself?
What if I commit the same mistakes I had before?
What if I might just hurt him?
What if I fail again?
Too many what if's...
I'm also afraid of what others will tell about me, na hindi ko kayang panindigan mga sinabi ko - na hindi na ako magboboyfriend, na hindi na ulit ako maiinlove, at tama sila na hindi ko talga kaya.
But no one can blame me. This is really what I feel. This is the truth behind every words I utter.
Once I had a heart-to-heart talk with Mr. Maurag, he asked me if I could share something about the past relationships I had. And so I did. It was a funny thing I forgot some important details (e.g. di ko na tanda sino pang4th ko, nalilito ako between my 4th and 5th boyfriend) Am I bitter or I just really forgot since forgetful na talaga ako lately?
This past few days I had a 'text' conversation with AmazingPillow and GreatWind. I told them of what I am into right now. We had a long exchange of ideas and opinions, but I'm still confused. And when they concluded about my situation, both of them said I'm in love with him.
I had a dinner with cutedevil, I shared the same 'burden'. Sometimes I'm hesitant sharing things about my love life to him because he always says the same things. That's why sometimes I doubt what I really feel for someone. But then in the end, he concluded too that I'm in love with him. He even added that the same thing is happening with this new close friend of mine.
In one of my classes last Tuesday, I listed some truth about me towards him. I showed them to GreatWind and KapitanMcDo. And again, they concluded that I'm in love with him. I also let checkered&violet read them, he had no idea of everything, but he concluded that the girl was bitter and martyr.
Last thursday night, I discovered something in my journal. I was shocked when I raed it. I really had forgotten about it.
Too much of this love talk, until next conversation.
Isang mahigpit na yakap para sa inyo.
6 comments:
looking forward to have a love talk with YOU
hugs :)
toinks ka.. anong long conversation sa atin.. matagal na namin yun sinasabi sayo..hindi mo lang mayakap yung totoo.. toinks ka..
sa tingin mo may naniwala na hindi ka na maiinlove? haha.. toinks din ang taong maniniwala dun..
fall.. and just fall.. kahit walang sasalo..
yun ang essence ng falling.. hindi yun naimbento para sa mga sasalo..
may sumalo man o wala, smile that it happened..
:)
ang hirap kasing tanggapin.
SO COMPLICATED ng situation ko.
kaya nga gusto ko ng mawala 'tong nararamdaman ko, para wala na. yeah, i might fall in love over and over and over again, pero di ko hahayaan to share that 'love' with someone.
falling? lagi na lang akong falling, mamamatay na ako sa kakahulog at walang sumasalo, kaya i'd better stop falling.
ahh.. hwag mong pilitin kasing mawala.. mahihilaw yan.. hayaan mo lang..
ay,dont worry.. hindi ka mamamatay kahit walang sumalo kasi nga hindi inimbento ang "falling" para sa sasalo.. it exists kasi ganun yung purpose nya.. ay, hindi ko maexplain..
yaan mo, soft naman ang ground..
it will do..
:)when you reach the ground, you'll find out na may blanket na nakatalatag,
at sa paligid nito ay mga kaibigan na hinihintay ka para sa picnic..
ganun yun..
:)
@simplixiety
Physics teaches us that it's not the fall that hurts, it's the sudden stop.Keep falling, it's okay.
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