ay11

bawat araw na papalapit sa'yo kinakabahan ako.
isa ka sa mga rason kung bakit gusto ko nang sumuko.
i'm not prepared to handle you this soon.
because of you, my heart and mind got and get tired, always.

please give me a break.
i easily get tired.

i'm praying to God that he'll give me a reason to stay where you are.
damn! i want this to be over.

king and queen

at first, you're not that attracting nor cute.

di nga kita napansin pagdating mo.

but after that coffee break before bed time,

i realized that you're kinda cute.

the next day, napansin kong medyo magulo ka na.

perception ko nga sa'yo, mahilig kang mangulit.

childlike pa ata.

matangos ang ilong.

matangkad.

minsan, pasimple lang ako kung sumulyap sa'yo.

sana di mo napansin.

after the 2nd coffee time that night,

actually milo time for me.

i intentionally left the group para lang makasabay sa'yo.

buti na lang magkatabi rooms natin kaya naabutan kita.

it was a good feeling hearing your good night before I went to bed.

i never thought we'll have a chance na makapag-usap ng konting oras.

i felt something positive about this.

but whatever this is, I'm happy with it,

kahit na alam kong may takot sa puso ko.

14 July 2011

10:38PM

MEFC

I'm kinda tired already. The day is about to end. I feel relaxed compared these past days. Kakatapos ko lang magspongebath. Before I went to my room, I had a conversation or I listened sa kwentuhan sa mess hall. I was with bro glenn, ate yvet, kuya king, and ma'am --- (I forgot her name).

Naisip ko lang, am I really happy with what I have now or where I am now? Is this what God really wants me to be? Good night!

cooowld...

parang mug ko na rin, plain white nga lang 'to.

it's cold here sa office namin, as always.

just having my 3-in-1 coffee while wearing my jacket and doing some office stuff.

last night i was with ate thea, ate trish, jan, kuya felix, coach jay, and rex at Beanbag.

bro. philip came too. (nakwento ko lang)

so, coffee anyone?

almost tears

 06.27.11
11:16 PM

i was so happy few hours ago,
pero bakit naluluha ako ngayon.
i feel so depressed, so down.

gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak ng sobra.
akala ko magiging okay na ang lahat,
pero bakit parang yung dati pa rin,
and parang mas lalong lumala,
mas lalong masakit.

it may sound "madrama",
pero masakit talaga eh.
it really hurts.
the question "why" always run into my head.

i'm tired, really tired.
i feel like giving up.
all i want is to be happy and
make my hopes into reality.

ang daming "sana" sa buhay ko
pero wala akong magagawa,
eto ako ngayon, ganito kami ngayon.

naiiyak na naman ako.
parang gusto ko na lang itulog ang lahat ng bigat
na nararamdaman ko.
pero kinabukasan,
gigising lang naman ako na dala pa rin
ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

ayoko na.
pagod na ako.
i feel very tired and down.
ang sakit, sobrang sakit.
this may root from a simple thing.
pero malaking bagay na 'to para sa'kin.
ang hirap.
ang lungkot.
ang bigat.

pagod na ko,
pagod na pagod.