to give and not to count the cost

it all started with a treat.
i was with PintigNgPuso, dancingDJ, Santino, Engr.GC, and kuya jojo.
we had dinner at karlos, then proceed at Starbucks.
it was my first time at the place.
sofa. amoy ng kape. nagkukwentuhang magkakaibigan.
ilan lamang sa mga nakita ko sa lugar.

"friends are like snowflakes, all different and all beautiful."
- starbucks christmas
nakaagaw pansin. at muling napaalala ng isang blogpost ni PintigNgPuso.


isang masayang gabi...

nandyan ang F na grade sa jokes ni Santino.
mga banat ng isang bagong kakilala.
mga tanong tungkolsa puso ni PintigNgPuso.
business concerns with Engr.GC, pati na rin ang mga kwento niyang
kahit papano napapatawa si dancingDJ.
ang "to give and not to count the cost" na linya ni dancingDJ
na ilang beses inulit-ulit dahil lang sa sticker.

bottom line,
salamat sa treat,
at higit sa lahat...

salamat sa to give and not to count the cost moments with you.


isang gabing babaunin at itatago ng puso ko,
saan man pumunta. hugs :)

# 3, step 2

naiinis na ako sa facebook,
tanong ng tanong kung whats on your mind?
eh IKAW lang naman lagi ang nasa isip ko.

 ...banat ni bebeBir :)

how to SAVE YOUR HEART

SHOULD:

Never expect.

Never demand.

Never assume.

KNOW:

Your limits.

Where you stand.

Your role.

DON'T:

Get affected.

Get jealous.

Get paranoid.

Wait for his/her text.

JUST:

Go with the flow,

and stay happy.

simply for MAYA

Nakita ko lang ang picture.
Nagustuhan ko.
Ikaw ang naalala ko.

This is simply for you
MAYAngligaw...

hugs for you.
love lots.
mwaaah! :)

LOVEtalk

11/13/10 at 10:50 AM

Radio playing...

Why is it that all the songs I hear are about love? Are they telling me something? Or nagkataon lang? Don't know what to think. I told myself that I should start posting entries of happy thoughts, but I guess I'll just pretend with hat act, because it's not really what I feel.

The music says...

...Sometimes love isn't just enough.

Last night, I was watching Imortal (with my parents) when the thought of falling in love with someone crossed my mind.

What if I met someone special?

What if I commit myself to him?

What if I can't hold on to what I promised myself?

What if I commit the same mistakes I had before?

What if I might just hurt him?

What if I fail again?

Too many what if's...

I'm also afraid of what others will tell about me, na hindi ko kayang panindigan mga sinabi ko - na hindi na ako magboboyfriend, na hindi na ulit ako maiinlove, at tama sila na hindi ko talga kaya.

But no one can blame me. This is really what I feel. This is the truth behind every words I utter.

Once I had a heart-to-heart talk with Mr. Maurag, he asked me if I could share something about the past relationships I had. And so I did. It was a funny thing I forgot some important details (e.g. di ko na tanda sino pang4th ko, nalilito ako between my 4th and 5th boyfriend) Am I bitter or I just really forgot since forgetful na talaga ako lately?

This past few days I had a 'text' conversation with AmazingPillow and GreatWind. I told them of what I am into right now. We had a long exchange of ideas and opinions, but I'm still confused. And when they concluded about my situation, both of them said I'm in love with him.

I had a dinner with cutedevil, I shared the same 'burden'. Sometimes I'm hesitant sharing things about my love life to him because he always says the same things. That's why sometimes I doubt what I really feel for someone. But then in the end, he concluded too that I'm in love with him. He even added that the same thing is happening with this new close friend of mine.

In one of my classes last Tuesday, I listed some truth about me towards him. I showed them to GreatWind and KapitanMcDo. And again, they concluded that I'm in love with him. I also let checkered&violet read them, he had no idea of everything, but he concluded that the girl was bitter and martyr.

Last thursday night, I discovered something in my journal. I was shocked when I raed it. I really had forgotten about it.

Too much of this love talk, until next conversation.

Isang mahigpit na yakap para sa inyo.

10:07 in the evening of November 06, 2010

I texted 14 significant persons in my life. I asked them to choose between yes and no, without posing any questions. Only five replied yes. One said no, while someone's answer I considered yes. He said yes for it 's always better to try, mabuti na ang magtaya kaysa wala kang ginawa. She said no because I always say yes. He replied ...kung tigsasabi mo yan, 'di mas madadalian kang magdecide...barkada garu...

It has been bothering me for days already, akala ko okay na, hindi pa pala. I had an entry before entitled Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee Part 1. 'Di ko na siya nagawan ng part 2 for I never had time and reason to do such. Masakit sa'kin na nagkakaganito ako, kami? hindi ko alam. hindi ko na talaga alam. Everytime na nagrireminisce ako, lalo lang akong nasasaktan. lalo ko lang pinapahirapan ang sarili ko. Lalo ko lang bang niloloko ang sarili ko? pati siya?

 

mySAM sana mabasa mo 'to...

unexpected pagtatagpo ng landas natin bilang magkaibigan, at hindi lang basta acquaintance. Masaya ang mga araw na naksama kita. Napapangiti mo ako. Sabi ko nga, blessed ako to have you. At ganun ka rin sabi mo sa'kin. Lumipas ang mga araw, nanatili pa ring matibay pagkakaibigan natin. Lumipas ang mga buwan, unti-unting nagbabago ang lahat. pansamantala nga lang ba 'yon? Naalala mo, sabi ko sa'yo ako si Frodo, ikaw naman si Sam. Marahil tulad din ng nangyari sa kanila ang nangyari at mangyayari sa ating dalawa. Matibay ang samahan nila sa bawat landas na tinahak nila, pero sa huli nagkahiwalay pa rin sila. Frodo joined Bilbo, Gandalf, and the other elves for Grey Havens, while Sam returned to Shire, to his family, to where he belongs. Kung saan siya magiging masaya.

Hindi ko tinatapos ang pagkakaibigan natin, marami lang ang magbabago. 'Di na tulad ng dati. Wala ng jammings, wala ng bucket list, at wala na ring best pal. Mananatili tayong magkaibigan. Mananatili kang isang biyaya sa buhay ko. Salamat sa lahat.

Salamat sa pagasang ibinigay mo.

Marahil ito talaga ang tadhana nating dalawa.

Ang sanga'y tuluyan nang nabali.

the Grey Havens

Now that the Shire's brief police state was overthrown, the Hobbits rebuild the villages of the region. Sam opens the box Galadriel gave him and finds a small silver seed, which he plants. In the Party Field, a Mallorn springs up to replace the old tree that was cut down. Many children are born that year. Merry and Pippin become heroes in the Shire, but Frodo quietly retires. That spring, Sam marries Rose Cotton, Farmer Cotton’s daughter, and they live at Bag End with Frodo.

Frodo decides to travel to Rivendell to see Bilbo Baggins. Frodo entrusts to Sam a history of the War, written in part by Bilbo. Frodo, Sam, and others set out. As they enter the Woody End, they meet Elrond and Galadriel, who now wear two of the Three Elven Rings. Riding slowly behind the two elves is Bilbo himself. Sam and Frodo accompany the travelers to the Great Sea. When they reach the gates of the Grey Havens, they find Gandalf waiting for them. Beyond him is a great white ship, ready to sail to the West across the sea.

 

 

Pippin and Merry appear, wishing to be present at Frodo’s departure. Frodo sadly bids farewell to his three friends and boards the ship. Gandalf entreats the three hobbits to enjoy each other’s friendship as they quietly return to the Shire. Sam enters his warm home, where he finds Rosie waiting. She puts their young daughter, Elanor, in his lap, and Sam draws a deep breath and says, "Well, I'm back." 

 

This is the summary of Lord of the Ring's The Return of the King's ninth and final chapter. I decided to use this chapter to express myself.

talentadongCPA

I accidentally read his journal.
I mean, accidentally saw it, then intentionally read it.
It was just a simple notebook for one of his subjects.

I was bothered, touched, and amazed by his entries.
At first, I was laughing because of what I was doing.
Then, as I went on, I got serious.
The entries were mostly about himself and our family.

After reading all the entries, I pretended that I was laughing at him. But deep inside I felt the pain he's into. I got to understand him. I can't believe some of his entries.

I promised that I'll do my best to help him lessen the burden he feels.
I promised that he'll never feel the same when I find a work.
I promised that I continue to be her sister for life.

You know that I'm proud of you, so much. 

number 7

Highschool pa lang ako,

tumatak na sa isip ko ang number seven.

Sabi ng religion teacher ko,

seven means forever.

Mula noon I had love the number.

It became one of my favorite numbers.

I had six relationships.

Relationships which I considered as failures.

It all failed partly because of me.

I always failed my bf-gf relationships.

Masakit sa aking I never had any relationship which lasted kahit for a year lang sana.

Before, lagi kong sinasabai na my next relationship will last longer.

But, I always failed.

Ngayon, I'm really into the idea na

hindi ko na kailangang paabutin pa sa pito.

I chose to live on my own. Once I told my friend na

hindi trip o kalokohan ang pinagsasasabi ko.

I'm serious. I had lots of reason.

And alam kong hindi nila maiintindihan,

kasi wala sila sa kalagayan ko.

I decided that I would refuse, prevent, and avoid to love someone.

I decided to never love somebody.

I decided not to have  Mr. Siyete.

and they lived happily ever after will never be into reality for my story.