it is sharing the best of who you are.
College years taught me a lot. I must say that I really had changed. But I'm not sure if I become a better person, or the opposite. I had undergone lots of self awareness activities. Pero bakit parang wala akong napapala. I always go back to myself whenever problems come my way.
self, self, self... me, mine, myself...
I...
Why is it so hard for me to share my self to people I love? Why do I always hesitate to open my self to people who care? Why do I doubt the people whom I value and value me as well? Why can't I unlock the burden inside me?
Sometimes, we prefer to be alone and keep things by ourselves. Sometimes, what they see is not actually what you mean. Sometimes, you just have to pretend and smile. Sometimes, you really want to give up and let things be.
I seldom talk about myself. I seldom express what I really feel. I seldom tell stories of my life. I seldom share my thoughts and feelings. For some, I may be predictable, but only a few knows what I am up to. Among the few, I don't think if they know the real me.
I want to understand myself. For this, I could share myself freely and wholeheartedly, without hesitations nor doubts. For it is a burden to keep all things by myself. Still I can't open the lock to unleash these burdens.
6 comments:
Hey simpliXETY! Interesting post you've got here! =)
You remind me a lot about myself before...maybe even until now. College, I believe has taught us a lot of things BUT not necessarily everything that can be learned. It is one of the many chapters of our lives that would only gain significance depending on the extent of our experiences in it. Whether it the change was good or not depend on how much you like yourself now in comparison to the person you were before.
Throughout life, you will undergo many more self-awareness sessions because we are continually changing. Every single second changes us and no single self-awareness session will reveal to us who we are completely. It is good that you are able to look at yourself when problems arise, but take note that there are situations beyond your control and the blame cannot always be traced back to yourself.
Remember, change does not happen in a matter of seconds. More often than not, it goes by unnoticed and subtly, like the breeze of the wind...
Conflicts brings to light things we never knew about ourselves when we are at peace...
It is not easy to share oneself, especially if the burden is great. It is more difficult to find someone to whom you can confide. But this should not hinder you from revealing a part of yourself, otherwise others who could have been willing to be there for you would never know who you are or what can they do for you.
Take your time, the fact that you admitted these feelings are a good start. We are right here behind you...
=)
thanks urban miss.
your comment made me feel better.
this blog is on my mind the entire day. the load's really heavy. all i want is to go home and have some sleep, just to forget this. but i know, it won't change the scenario. i'll have more burdens actually, of course, because of the unaccomplished schoolworks.
but again, thank you urban miss.
a BIG THANKS.
:)
ei simplixiety.. magpapatawa muna ako ah..
so, wala ka palang napapala sa mga self awareness activities na nadaanan mo ah.. ibig sabihin, nag sinungaling ka nung tinanong ka sa processing about your learnings and realizations? ahahaha.. sige, secret lang natin yun..
kidding aside, tama si urbanmiss sa mga sinabi niya.. the self is our greatest ally and at the same time greatest enemy.. our greatest strength and our greatest weakness.. still, in the end, wala tayong ibang babalikan kundi sarili natin.. that being the case, malaki yung call sa atin to learn to embrace ourself and learn to share ourself as well..
isa sa natutunan ko sa mga self awareness activity is that life can only becone meaningful when we open ourselves up and share our gift or self to others..
of course, it is not easy.. it entails readiness to get hurt one day, get disappointed, maybe even betrayed.. sharing would also mean putting our vulnerabilities in front of us.. it would surely call for a lot of courage to do that..
but what is life without sharing right? how will life be without letting others know our genuine self..
ako, i am proud to say that most (if not all the time), i choose to be true to how i feel, who i am, and what i want or wish for.. kahit minsan sa mata ng tao mukha na akong engot, wala akong pakialam.. as i have said before, being honest with myself is the greatest gift i can extend to myself..
sige lang, ang mahalaga, you were able to acknowledge that feeling.. the next challenge then is to act on it..
whatever way you choose, i am sure there are people around you who will continue to embrace you.. trust their love and friendship..
weh.. dami ko sinabi...
pero di nga, nagsinungaling ka talaga sa processing?....
pagdating naman ate sa processing,
i always say what i feel.
kaya di ako nagsisinungaling sa processing ng self-awareness sessions.
it's just that after the training,
bigla siyang nawawala sa utak ko,
so parang bumabalik ako sa dati,
then another session occurs.
and the cycle goes on...
sabi nyo nga, mahirap ibahagi ang sarili, and mahirap talaga.
i'll not promise na 100% kong maibabahagi ang sarili ko sa iba. i'll just do my best to find the key and unlock the myself.
nowhere to be found yet man ang susi,
di ko hahayaang mawal ang mga taong mahal ko because of this.
thank you talga ate.
mwaah! :)
now i understand ( trying to )
konting panahon na lang.
wag ka sanang magsawang umintindi.
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